What Helps You Feel Useful?

I ask myself this more lately. With one of my daughters an official, legal adult by all definitions and my second one not far behind, I find myself at a loss as to what my primary purpose is now.

I’ve engaged in some direct, and expensive, educational soul searching on this topic. Although better equipped to handle the inevitable shift from primary parent to empty nester, I am still learning ways to keep myself from feeling adrift.

Pouring myself into my work and my professional life is not beyond me. I have given over 100% to my professional life regardless of my position. Now, the level of my position demands a high tempo, high touch, high focus effort. This is something I have always given to my work, even if it were not required. At this stage, it is necessary and as a part of a 24/7 operation, my hours can be unrelenting. My “above and beyond” work ethic requires more and more.

I’m not complaining, however. My work excites me. Being needed and appreciated makes my job even more worthwhile. However, it also creates an almost insatiable need to stay useful and needed.

While I now understand and appreciate the concept of rest, the impact it has on my health, and the importance of keeping it in the forefront, I still like to engage in efforts I see as important, even if they do not relate to work.

Enter Compassion International

I recently began sponsoring a five-year-old little girl who lives in Honduras. The organization behind the sponsorship operates in several impoverished locations and offers resources for not only the children, but also the families. This child attends a kindergarten at a center funded by the charity and receives medical, nutrition, education, social, and spiritual support.

All those things are certainly warranted and a huge draw for me. But my favorite part of the whole thing? You are encouraged to exchange letters with your sponsored child. Thanks to technology, you can do it via email. The organization translates the correspondence between you and your child. You can even upload photos which are then printed as part of your letter. I love it because the organization provides cute templates that your letter’s text can be added to to make it even more personalized/special. Eventually, I will figure out how to send her coloring pages that can be printed with her letter as an extra little insert.

Our sponsored child’s birthday is coming in April. I hope her letter wherein we wish her a happy birthday reaches her in plenty of time. It’s my goal to try and send her a letter each week. I will also tag in my daughters to send her a letter every now and then. She might like hearing from bigger girls.

This along with a project I’m working on to support college-aged students who were impacted by the foster care system definitely have a good start on filling my “mom” cup. I need to keep those mom muscles strong because I spent decades building them. My girls taught me well and now I have experience I can share with and shower on others.